At the Hospital

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" Jer. 1:5

On Dec. 12th I fell in love twice.

We were finally called to the hospital to meet our son, Carter Lee.  When we arrived we visited with the birth mother and grandmother.  Travis was a bit nervous.  He wasn't exactly sure what to say and didn't want to hurt them anymore by our presence.  I reassured him that everything would be fine.  I felt the same way the first doctor's appointment that I went with them to.  They are a GREAT Christian family, and have been nothing but wonderful to get to know better.  I have truly enjoyed our time together.

When I walked into the room, there he was-  7 lbs. 9 ounces in 20 inches of perfection.  I loved him instantly!

We spent a few hours that day with the birth family.  When we began the process, Travis and I chose not to have an open adoption.    I was afraid that because she was able to physically carry him for 9 months, deliver him, and already have a bond with him, that I would feel jealous.  Now that I have experienced a somewhat open adoption, I couldn't be happier with the way things went.  Not a lot of adoptive parents get to ask what food she craved, how the pregnancy was affecting her (heartburn, etc), and other random questions.  It is not jealousy that I feel toward her, but pure and unending love and gratefulness.  She gave us the greatest gift-the gift of family. Not everyone can understand this.  It is something that you have to experience to comprehend.  It was hilarious to see the looks on the faces of the nurses and doctors as we wheeled Carter back and forth between the two rooms or when they would walk into one of the rooms and we were all there laughing and carrying on.

We can't wait to tell Carter about the miracle of his life.  Through a series of events that is far greater than we can grasp, God chose Carter for us.  I grieve for the birth mother.  I know that she loves him with an incredible love.  So much so that she knew that even though it would be painful, she found a family that could raise him and love him as much as she did.  I will thank God for her and her family every day of my life.

In the times that Travis and I were alone with Carter, I fell in love with my husband all over again.  He would have a fit if he knew I was writing this....but who cares?!  He turned into this gentle, teddy bear of a man, snuggling up with our son, changing diapers (I know, right?!), and being so helpful.  I am a lucky girl:-)