2 weeks old

Today is Carter's two week birthday! The time has gone so quickly, yet it feels as if he's been part of our family forever. Today was Carter's first trip to see Dr. Smith. Great-grandma Knoch came to take pictures. The doctor told me that the main goal of today's visit was to make sure he was back at his birth weight. When he was born, he weighed 7'9 and was 7'6 when we left the hospital. I knew had been eating a ton and was my arm was feeling the extra weight already, so I was not surpised when she told me he was 8'3 today. He didn't grow any taller, so he is truly just getting chubbier:-)

We have enjoyed 6 great nights of him sleeping through the night. Be jealous!!! However, some days he makes up for all the sleep by staying awake for most of the day. When he is awake, he isn't quite sure what to do with himself. If he is not being changed or fed, he feels like something is wrong.

Carter absolutely loves hands-his or anyone else's. When he sleeps, he usually has one hand touching his cheek. He LOVES when people play with his hands. My favorite though is when I feed him, he looks right at me, reaches up, and grabs a finger. It's amazing that something so small sometimes makes me pretty emotional.

When Carter grows up, the next paragraph will be something that will make him whine, "OH, MOM!" Today was Carter's first "accident." Travis and I had been warned about the dangerous duty of changing a boy's diaper. At first, we stood on guard, ready to block the spray. Carter hadn't showed any sign of doing that yet, so I had started to let my guard down. Today, I was changing him and had his legs raised up a little. The next thing I knew, he was going all over the place (none on me, mostly on himself.) After I stopped laughing, we had another bath and had to call dad to tell him the funny story.

Speaking of baths, Carter hates them. He likes the sitting in the water part, but despises the actual washing part. He's definitely all boy!!!

The biggest change I noticed this week was that he is starting to look like a little boy. Don't get me wrong...I know he is only 14 days old, but sometimes I don't see my baby but almost a boyish face. It makes me realize how fast this is going to go and how much I treasure every second with him. Thank you, God, for this gift!

Carter has a nickname

When trying to choose a name for our son or daughter, I kept leaning on certain names because of the ability to have a nickname. Growing up, I never had one. "Amber" just isn't a good nickname name. Travis and I disagreed on A LOT of names (mostly girl names) but finally agreed on Carter for a boy-even though there wasn't an obvious nickname for him. We were sitting at home, enjoying our little boy, when we started thinking about my nephews meeting him. They were planning a visit a few days later. Before I start picking on them let me tell you that I absolutely ADORE my nephews. My youngest, Colten, has personality galore and also a slight speech problem. I am sure in time it will correct itself, but as of now, his k sounds and r sounds are a bit off.Travis and I rolled around laughing just thinking of him trying to talk to his cousin, Carter. Well, the nephews came and Carter officially received his new nickname. TARTER (with the r's sounding a bit Bostonish).In the video, Colten is demonstrating it for you:

Week 1

Carter is officially one week old.  Last week at this time we were just hearing the news of his birth and anxiously waiting to meet him.  We were able to see him on Tuesday, spend the night at the hospital (Thanks Dupont for our own room), and bring him home on Wednesday.  Everyone kept telling us that it would hit us at home...what am I supposed to do with this kid?!  I have to say that it wasn't until the first night that I felt that way.  Then some moms told me he was beginning to look jaundice, so naturally I began to fret.  It has since righted itself, and Carter is one healthy little boy. 

Carter and I sat down and had a nice talk.  I explained that day was for playing and night was for sleeping.  Since then, I think he his getting the idea.  Although he usually has an every three hour feeding schedule, last night he slept almost through the night (10 P.M.-5 A.M.).  Am I lucky or what?

Travis and I love to watch him sleep, but we really enjoy the times when he is alert and watching our every move.  Yesterday he stayed awake for three hours and listened to us talk, sing, make funny faces, etc.  That is my favorite memory so far....

Here is Carter at one week old.

We're home!!!

"This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." Matt. 3:17

After hours of waiting and paperwork and more waiting and paperwork, we came home yesterday.  Carter was a gem in the car and LOVES his carseat.  I will have to remember that when he is up at night, refusing to sleep.  Roadtrip! 

Carter is a night owl.  He was before he was born, too.  She told me that he would be fairly still during the day but the second she layed down, he was in motion.  That describes the last few nights perfectly.  Although I am beginning to feel the effects of sleep deprivation, the evenings in the low light with no other sounds have been the most magical bonding times.  I think it is starting to recognize my voice.  When I talk to him, he stares straight into my eyes.

Carter had his first bath today.  He absolutely hated every minute of it.  We'll work on that.  My plans for this boy include swimming in the lake by June.  Think that'll happen?  A girl can dream...

Hendrix and Carter officially met yesterday.  We have been telling our 4 pound Pomeranian that he had a brother or sister coming.  We sat Carter on our bed and let Hendrix in the house.  He sniffed his way straight to our room.  He was a bit too excited-wanting to give Carter a tongue bath- but once we settled him down, he went into guard dog mode.  He sits right up against Carter and watches for intruders.  I am so glad my two boys are getting along!

At the Hospital

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" Jer. 1:5

On Dec. 12th I fell in love twice.

We were finally called to the hospital to meet our son, Carter Lee.  When we arrived we visited with the birth mother and grandmother.  Travis was a bit nervous.  He wasn't exactly sure what to say and didn't want to hurt them anymore by our presence.  I reassured him that everything would be fine.  I felt the same way the first doctor's appointment that I went with them to.  They are a GREAT Christian family, and have been nothing but wonderful to get to know better.  I have truly enjoyed our time together.

When I walked into the room, there he was-  7 lbs. 9 ounces in 20 inches of perfection.  I loved him instantly!

We spent a few hours that day with the birth family.  When we began the process, Travis and I chose not to have an open adoption.    I was afraid that because she was able to physically carry him for 9 months, deliver him, and already have a bond with him, that I would feel jealous.  Now that I have experienced a somewhat open adoption, I couldn't be happier with the way things went.  Not a lot of adoptive parents get to ask what food she craved, how the pregnancy was affecting her (heartburn, etc), and other random questions.  It is not jealousy that I feel toward her, but pure and unending love and gratefulness.  She gave us the greatest gift-the gift of family. Not everyone can understand this.  It is something that you have to experience to comprehend.  It was hilarious to see the looks on the faces of the nurses and doctors as we wheeled Carter back and forth between the two rooms or when they would walk into one of the rooms and we were all there laughing and carrying on.

We can't wait to tell Carter about the miracle of his life.  Through a series of events that is far greater than we can grasp, God chose Carter for us.  I grieve for the birth mother.  I know that she loves him with an incredible love.  So much so that she knew that even though it would be painful, she found a family that could raise him and love him as much as she did.  I will thank God for her and her family every day of my life.

In the times that Travis and I were alone with Carter, I fell in love with my husband all over again.  He would have a fit if he knew I was writing this....but who cares?!  He turned into this gentle, teddy bear of a man, snuggling up with our son, changing diapers (I know, right?!), and being so helpful.  I am a lucky girl:-)

Meeting Carter

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14

Today we just wait to hear when we will be allowed to go to the hospital.  As far as we know, the birthmother is still planning on following through with her adoption plan. 

I can't wait to meet him!  I have no idea what he looks like, if he has any hair or birthmarks.  I haven't heard him cry or grunt or seen him yawn.  I don't know him, but my heart holds so much love for this little guy.

Pray that our time of waiting would be over soon.  Also, continue to keep our family in your prayers as we begin to learn each other and bond together as a family.

Birthday Rollercoaster Ride

Today was a rollercoaster of a day.  You know the type of day I'm talking about-a day where you feel so many emotions all at once-excitement, nervousness, sorrow, and joy.

At 8:16 this morning, just as my third grade class was getting settled in for a long day of learning, my phone rang.  I didn't recognize the number, so I knew it was THE CALL!  I had been expecting the birth mother to call when she went into labor.  I was looking forward to sharing in that miracle with her, camcorder in one hand, tissues in the other.  It wasn't her though. It was Gloria from the adoption agency.  The baby had been born overnight. 
From the minute my husband and I embarked on this adoption journey, we have asked God to bring us THE child.  Not any child, but a hand-selected by God child.  One that would fit so perfectly into our family puzzle that we couldn't be complete without him or her.  After receiving the December 3rd call, my prayer changed.  "Lord, let me trust you.  If this is not the child for us, allow me to accept that and be patient. You are the author of life and of this family and will do what is best for us. I place our story in Your hands." 

If I ever needed to pray that prayer, it was today.

Later, after speaking to Gloria again, we were told that we would be able to see him tomorrow.  HIM.  A beautiful boy.  I hadn't known what she was having until today. 

I am not exactly sure how I feel.  I am thrilled obviously, but don't yet feel that I can celebrate.  I am crushed that I missed his birth.  The birth of a child is something I may never get to experience.  I feel so much love but it doesn't quite feel real. I grieve because I have a son less than an hour away whom I've never met.  I rejoice because tomorrow, with God's grace, I will be a mom. 

Most importantly today I'd like to thank the birthmother.  This is not something she had to do.  There are options.  She chose life.  She didn't have to pick us, but she did.  She and her family will always hold a special place in our hearts.  I pray that she finds peace with her decision in the days, week, and months to come.  I hope she knows what this means to us and how we will treasure every day with this child.

The Call

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

December 3rd. Blinking light. I press play. Little did I know this call would change our world.

"Hi, Travis and Amber. I have a question to ask you, but I don't think I should say it on an answering machine, so could you call me back?"

I looked at Travis and knew...this is what we had been waiting for. This call was what I had hoped and prayed for. This is the call I sometimes never thought would come.

Travis, being the one who has always kept me grounded, told me I was reading to much into it. It is just a phone call. Don't start jumping to conclusions. But I knew. It must have been my maternal instincts:-)

The caller was the birthmother. She had seen our profile at the agency and wanted to ask us a few questions. Finally, she said, "Well, will you adopt my baby?" I'm not sure I even answered, or if I did, I don't remember. To be honest, all I remember after that is my repeating thank you, thank you over and over and the due date--January 9th. ONE MONTH!!

I hung up and fell into Travis' arms sobbing.

Thank you, God! I am going to be a mother....finally!