Memorial Day Weekend

Before Carter, I would envision taking my family to the lake to relax and enjoy the sunshine. This weekend we did exactly that!

Although we have been there quite a bit already, this was the first weekend that we celebrated summer-swimming, boating, skiing, grilling out, bonfires, and SPF 60. There are so many things that I want to teach Carter. I can't wait to teach him to fish, tube, catch frogs in the creek....all the stuff that I did when I was young.



For now, Carter got to enjoy his mini duck pool. We did go into the lake for a few quick dips. He screamed the first time, but got accustomed to the cold water the next few times. I think he finally ended up liking it.


We also took Carter on the speed boat. He got to watch all his cousins and Aunt Kearstyn go wakeboarding and tubing. Carter is such laid back kid. He just sat back and enjoyed the ride!


After such a great (but long) weekend, Carter was tuckered out!


Now that I am home for the summer, I am sure there are many more days like this to come!!!

Faux Hawks and Funny Faces

20 weeks

4 months 1/2 months. 20 weeks. 140 days. In this short time, I have come to love another person more than I ever thought possible. Someone asked if I have ever come home after a draining day and instantly been cheered by his smile. Since I am in the last few days of the school year, I would say, "Yep...just about every day!"


One of the perks of my job is that I will get to spend so much time with Carter this summer. I can't wait! We started practicing playing in the yard today. I wanted to see if grass bothered him. It doesn't seem to.




Auntie Kearstyn came to visit this weekend and couldn't believe how big Mr. Carter has grown. They had fun playing and he can't wait for her to come back this weekend. (Kearstyn-thank you for helping me with Carter and in my classroom. We love you bunches!!!)


New milestones this week:

We tried bananas and green beans this week. Not a fan of either. I don't think he is quite ready for those flavors. Maybe later.

Carter has been practicing holding his bottle for a few weeks now. He never could quite figure out how to place his hands. This week the bottle fell and Carter picked it up with both hands and lifted it toward his face. The first time it ended up in his eye (he knew his mouth was somewhere up there!) but the second time he found his mouth and held it on his own for about a minute.

Feeding himself-check. Potty training comes next....j/k

Ladies' Man

I just love this shirt!

This big guy weighs 15 lbs. 9 oz.

He now eats one serving of either rice cereal or oatmeal a day. Today he experienced sweet potatoes for the first time!

What NOT to say!

As much as I love to share pictures of the incredibly adorable Carter, my purpose for starting this blog was to discuss the ins and outs of adoption. I know that while I was caught in the middle between wanting to be a mother and becoming a mom, I found strength and hope in other women's words. Our decision to adopt was actually made final after a night spent reading blogs.

Although most people Travis and I have come across have been wonderfully supportive and thrilled for us, there have been a few others. Others who don't think before they speak. Others whose words made my heart cringe. Others who have no idea what they are talking about.

If you have adopted, you might agree with me. If you want to adopt, don't let the possibility of a handful of negative comments stop you.

If you have not and will not adopt, here are a few things NOT to say:

"You know, [so and so] adopted and then they got pregnant right away! That will probably happen to you." --- No, no it won't. I do know that it is something that has happened to some women. I also believe that nothing is impossible for God. However, you could never know the pain that this phrase causes to a lot of women facing infertility. Please, don't say it.

"Is your baby going to be (insert other race here)? --- Does it matter? God loves all His children.

"That's great [adopting] but you are going to have your own children, right?" --- Again, I will not be having children, but I believe with everything in me that Carter is my child. I have to admit that the adoption process was emotionally taxing. Sometimes I'm not sure I can handle it again if we choose to. It would be easier to be able to get pregnant, but that was not God's choice for me. I have learned through it all that the valleys were necessary for us to have Carter as part of our family.

"Carter is so lucky to be given to a family who will actually love and care for him."---This REALLY boils my blood. Sadly, many people think that most adoptive children are given up without a thought or care from teenage girls or troublemakers. Carter's birthmother, Rachael is neither. She is a wonderfully funny, hard-working woman. Her decision, I'm sure, was a difficult one for her to make. A brave one. One that will bind us together forever. Yes, we love Carter dearly, but so does she.

These things have been on my heart to share for awhile. I do not write them to let off steam. My hope is that those reading might think about their words first.

4 months

Happy 4 month birthday to the most handsome boy I know!!

Happy Mother's Day!

I feel like I have to be honest with you (whomever you are) and tell you that I have had varying emotions about Mother's Day in the past.  When Travis and I first married, it was just another day.  Of course we celebrated by thanking each of our mothers, but nothing more.  When we decided to start trying for a family, Mother's Day became a hopeful day. "Next year, I will get to celebrate this as a mom," I thought.  As two more years passed, it was more difficult to celebrate on this day.  Last year I downright hated the day.  I didn't need to be reminded that I was not made to conceive a child.  If anyone reading this has dealt with infertility, I'm sure you understand those feelings exactly.  (On a side note, I have some really great websites that I found and a magazine that a friend of mine turned me on to that I liked to read during the wait.) At that time, we were on the waiting list for adoption and had been told not to expect anything for over a year.  In the back of my mind there was always a little nagging doubt that motherhood may never happen for me.

Needless to say, I was overly thrilled and completely in awe of God's master plan to be able spend my first Mother's Day as Carter's mommy.  It was an uneventful day, but one that I will treasure forever.  Daddy took us out to lunch and then to shop for plants for the garden.  I got to stay in and play with Carter while Travis tilled the ground.  My plan is to grow all the fruits and vegetables organically and make all (or most) of Carter's baby food.

Like I said before, God has worked His plan out perfectly this year.  I am amazed to look back over the past 12 years and see all the subtle ways that He was setting the scene for Carter to be able to come into our lives.  Travis and I had chosen not to have an open adoption, but I wouldn't want it any other way now.  My heart is filled with so much love for Rachael and her family.  I am so glad that Carter will grow up knowing what great people they are and how much they love him.  I am also glad that they can be assured that Carter is being well taken care of, instructed in the Christian faith, and happy. 

Here is a video that can attest to this little boy's unbelievable cuteness:

Other exciting events included visiting with our future BFF Grace

Carter tries really hard to sit up and can for awhile with support.  Eventually he falls forward.  Top heavy, I guess!

These last few pictures feature Carter wearing one of his Daddy's outfits from when he was a baby.  I guess I waited to long to put it on him.  It was a tight fit.  I thought it was hilarious, though.  Enjoy!

Curiosity

I wish I could remember what I was thinking when I was Carter's age.  Sometimes I think I can tell what he is thinking from the look in his eyes.  Sometimes he thinks I am the greatest and funniest thing he has ever seen.  Sometimes, I accidently scare him.  Sometimes I really tick him off!!!

This week Carter was so intuitive to new things around him. I kept wondering what he was thinking.  It was neat to see him be so curious about things. Carter has taken a notice to food.  Especially food that is not his.  He found my hair.....  He put his hand on his knee, looked down, and bent and unbent it to figure out how in the world it worked.  Carter can grab things with both hands and hold on to them for a short time.  No matter what, it usually finds its way to his mouth.

He also has started to become much more affectionate. Carter has always liked to snuggle up against my chest, but he started laying his head on my shoulder this week.  He gives kisses. Wide open with a little spit mixed in.  So sweet!!  He loves his prayer pal (a little boy doll that says the "Now I lay me..." prayer). His night often ends with hugs from this friend.

I feel like I say this every week, but my favorite moment thus far was the other night when I was lying beside him on the couch.  He was cooing, really thinking he was holding an adult conversation with me.  When I started talking back to him, he reached over and started rubbing my cheek, looking me directly in the eyes.  What a charmer!!!

Other exciting (or not-so-exciting) events were:

Shots- I put these off as long as possible.  Well, daycare finally twisted my arm, and Carter was stuck three times this week. It was all I could not to melt into tears right along with him when his bottom lip started quivering like crazy before he let out his wail.  The kid is a trooper though because when I sat him up and told him we were done, he took a deep breath, sighed, and gave me a smile.

This stinking cold will not let up.  I really think it is allergies, so we have closed up the windows, bought a new air filter, and are waiting for things to improve.  His cough is awful, but the doctors say there is nothing we can do.  I did talk to a lady from church who is a homeopathic physician and she recommended a few things-Eucalyptus oil in the humidifier, sweet echinacea, and acidophilus.  We are trying the oil tonight to see how it goes.

I can honestly tell you that I had no idea that parenting would be so exhausting, uncertain, and draining.  Oh, believe me!  People tried.  But no matter how I feel at the end of the day, one look at this sweet face makes it all worth it.